On Acting Older

During a tour around the block on his bike, Max had the following one-way conversation on the toy cell phone attached to the bike:
Max: "Ya so I'm taking a ride on my bike, then I'm going to go have super, then I'm going home and reading a book and going to bed" (hangs up the phone)
Me: "Who was that Max?"
Max: "Grandma"

On Being a Gentleman

Max: "Mommy why didn't we pick you up after work today?"
Me: "Because I worked at a different office today Max that is too far away for you to come pick me up at"
Max: "I would have come to get you anyway Mommy"

On Passover

Me (Max in bath): "Max we have to wash your hair tonight because we have a party to go to tomorrow"
Max: "Wash my hair? So that everyone at that party can say 'wow, look at Maxim's hair?'"
Me: "Yes, exactly. The party is because we are Jewish. It's called Passover. Do you remember when we talked about being Jewish?"
Max: "Yes"
(A few minutes later when Pat came into the bathroom)
Max: "Daddy, are you coming to that birthday party tomorrow?"
Me (in the background): "No, not birthday party, Passover Seder... Ok we'll try this again tomorrow night.

Sanderisms

For the first time since I created this blog almost 4 months ago, I am going to write about someone other than Max. I feel like a bit of a traitor, but my interactions with my friend's 5-year old yesterday were just too cute to pass up putting down on "paper"

Max: "I love you Mommy"
Sander: "I love you too! I love you more than Max does; I love you to the moon and space and then what is beyond space and beyond the blackness"
Me: "Wow Sander, I think that might be the nicest thing ANYONE of the male species has ever said to me. You are so sweet"
Sander: "No, you're the sweetest"

I have since told his parents to watch out for him as he will clearly be a real Romeo later in life. My husband has also asked him for his number so that he can call him from time to time when he needs help with some affectinate one-liners...

On Brooklyn's Health

Max: "Mommy, is Brooklyn sick?"
Me: "Well she has a bit of fever Max; we think it is her teeth coming in"
Max: "Oh, that doesn't sound very good..."( said in his best concerned older brother voice, complete with sad face)

Mechant or not Mechant?

Me (as Max put his boxers on): "Look Max, your boxers have sharks on them"
Max: "Are these sharks mechant or not mechant?"
Me: They are not mechant Max, they are nice sharks"
Max: "Ok, that's good"

On Play Acting

Max (playing fireman and policeman in our living room ): "Be careful Mommy! Brooklyn cannot go into that street, there are buses and cars. It's dangerous!"

Our Loving Max

Max: "I love you!"
Me: "Oh I love you too Max!"
Max: "No Mommy, I meant Brooklyn"

On Daddy Being Hurt

Last night Pat cut himself pretty deeply and as he was bleeding, yelled up to Max and I to get him a bandage

Max (yelling downstairs): "Ok Daddy, we're coming with a band-aid!"
Pat (yelling back upstairs): "Thank you buddy"
Max (upon seeing the wound): "Oh no! I'm going to need to buy myself a new Daddy!"

On Strategy

While playing a child's version of dominos:

Max (as I put a card down): "I see your thought there Mommy."
Me: "What Max!? Did you just say you saw my thought process there?"
Max: "Yes! (laughing uncontrollably)"
Me: "Oh you are just so smart and funny sometimes..."
Max: "I know, I know"

On Looking out for Brooklyn

Max: "No no no no, I don't like what Brooklyn is playing with!"
(As Brooklyn plays with a tupperware bowl in her high chair)
Me: "It's ok, Max, she can play with that, I gave it to her"
Max: "That doesn't sound like a good ides"
Me: "Max, it's ok, it's not the bowl she was eating out of, it's another one"
Max: "No, no good..."

Philosophical Questions

Max: "Mommy, why do babies cry?"
Me: "Because they can't yet talk and express themselves in any other way"
Max: "That's why they smile also?"
Me: "Yes Max, they smile to let us know they are happy"
Max: "Oh, so that's why Brooklyn cries and smiles!"

On Being Precise

Me: "Max, its bath time!"
Max: "Ok, but I just want to jump in and jump out of the bath"
Me: "Ok fine"
(Of course, once he's in the bath, he has lots of fun)
Max: "Ok Mommy, I am ready to get out"
Me: "Ok I'm ready with your towel"
Max: "No I don't want to get out now"
Me: "Well Max it's either you or Brooklyn, but one of you has to get out now"
Max: "I'll be ready to get out in 4 minutes, ok Mommy?"

On Technology

Our internet was down this morning, so Max couldn't watch his morning video

Max: "I want to watch Finley!"
Me: "I know Max, and I'm trying everything that I can, but our Internet seems to be down"
Max: "I don't want it to be down! I want to be able to watch Finley"
Me: "I'll call the company later, but there is nothing I can do right now"

After daycare:

Max: "Mommy, did you charge the ipad?"
Me: "No Max, it's not that the ipad wasn't charged, it's that the internet wasn't working. But I called the company and they came to fix it"
Max: "How? Where?" (and so on and so forth, with my having to try to explain the wonders of our modern technology!)

On the Time Change

Max: "Mommy, tonight 7 o'clock is different than last night"
Me: "Who told you that Max?"
Max: "Daddy did. Now 8 o'clock is like 7 o'clock"
Me: "Yes that's right Max"
Max: "Yay!! It's still bright outside! I can play trucks outside longer!"
Me: "That's why we changed the time Max..."

On Nose Etiquette

Max: "Mommy I have a boogie in my nose"
Me: "Ok let me get a Q Tip. Which nostril is it in?"
Max: "This one and this one (indicating both nostrils)"
Me: "Ok let me try to get it" (attempt failed)
Max: "Wow this boogie really doesn't want to come out!"

On Boy-Girl Relations

Max: "Why didn't Ayla smile at me?"
Me: "Did you smile at her?"
Max: "No"
Me: "Well if you would smile at her, she would smile at you"
Max: "Ok then..."

On Bedtime Behaviour

Pat: "It's bathtime Max"
Max: "No bath tonight"
Pat: "Max, come on, you take a bath every night with Brooklyn"
Max: "I'm not feeling a bath tonight"
(After the bath)
Me: "Max, are you going to be a good boy at bedtime tonight?"
Max: "I really, really, hope so. I might put my feet up and kick a little, but I really hope to be good"

On Bathroom Etiquette

Max: "I have to go to the bathroom"
Pat: "Ok let me turn the light on for you"
Max (with light on, on the toilet): " Go away Daddy, it stinks!"
Pat: "Ok call me when you're done"
Max: "I'm done Daddy! Go gently Daddy!"

On Being a little Chef

Me: "Let's go see if the water has boiled yet Max"
Max: "I can't see- has it boiled yet?"
Me: " No, it hasn't yet"
Max: " Oh...I'm so sad!"

On Skiing

Max: "Babaloo!!! I'm so happy to see you!"

Our Fire Chief

Max's obsession with fire trucks and play acting as fire chief continues. Below is a photo to illustrate how seriously he takes this- and how awesome his imagination is! He's in full uniform, with the vacuum hose acting as a water spout.

On Days of the Week

Max: " Am I going to Julia's today?"
Me: "No Max, you aren't"
Max: " Because it's samedi?"
Me: " Yes Max, because it's Saturday"
Max: "And tomorrow, I go to Avila to ski, because it's dimanche?"
Me: "That's right Max"