On Kleptomania

As I was holding baby Brooklyn tonight, I fished a truck I had never seen out of her hoodie
Me: "What is this?"
Max: "It's from Julia's!" ( the daycare)
Pat: "Did you take it Max?"
Max: "Yes, I put it in Brooklyn's hood so I could bring it home" At which point pretty much all three of us were laughing hysterically
Pat (to me): "Good to know we are raising a 3 year old kleptomaniac. .."

On Nutrition

Max (eyeing the bruschetta on the table): "Is that spicy?"
Pat: "No, just garlicky. Would you like to try some?"
Max: "Yes please! (Eating some on a large crouton) Yum Yum Delicious! Est-ce que c'est bon pour ma sante?"
Pat (laughing): "Yes- garlic and tomatoes are both good for you"
Max: "So now it will help me grow big and strong, with good muscles!"

A Song for Brooklyn

Max (singing to Brooklyn in her room as she was protesting bedtime): "Go to sleep Brooklyn, close your eyes, go to sleep right now, I love you, go to sleep"

Tongue Twister

Pat: "Don't let the bed bugs bite"
Max: "Don't let the bite bugs bad"
(Pat and Max laughing) Pat: "Try again. Don't let the bed bugs bite"
Max: "Don't let the bad bite bugs" (breaking off into hysteric giggles, with Pat laughing next to him as well"
Max: "I really need to practice that!!"
Me (slowly): "Don't. Let. The. Bed. Bugs. Bite"
Max (finally getting it): "Don't let the bed bugs bite" yay! I got it! (So proud of himself)

Philosophical Discussion

Me: "Max I really love baking cookies with you; it makes mommy happy because I remember baking cookies with my mommy"
Max: "Grandma is your Mommy?"
Me: "No honey, you never met my mommy, she's in heaven"
Max: "In heaven? Where is that place? I think I visited it once "
Me: "Really?"
Max: "Yes, when we went to New York to visit Henry"
Me: "Oh..."
Max: "Are there toys in heaven?"
Me: "I don't see why not"
Max: "Fire trucks??"
Me: "Yes Max, there are fire trucks in heaven"

When I grow up

Max: "Daddy, I'm a doctor"
Pat: "Really?"
Max: "No, not really, but I will be when I grow up"
Pat: "That's great Max. Do you know that you have to go to school for a long time to become a doctor?"
Max: "That's ok! Come, let me show you my office"

Everything is A.O.K

Me: "Max! Are you ok?"
Max: "Yes, I'm just fine"

On Peeing

Me: "Max I have to pee"
Max: "Me too- I was just thinking that while I was outside (sitting on the toilet and peeing) and look! It came true!"

On Building

Max: "Mommy can I have water please for the sand castle I'm building?"
Me: "Yes of course Max, here you go"
Max (outside with Uncle Nick): "I'm building you a house"
Nick: "Whose going to live in it?"
Max: "You and Annabelle"
Nick: "Will you come visit us?"
Max: "Yes but not very often because I'm busy"

On Hockey

Max: "Is goalie Price going to score tonight?"
Pat: "He is going to play tonight but goalie's don't score, they block shots"
Max: "Et le but!!!"
Pat: "No, no score Max"
Max: "No but?"

On Big Muscles

Max (flexing): "Look at my big muscles Mommy"
Me (looking at his little skinny arm): "Wow Max, you're getting strong!"
Max: "From eating food. It makes me a little bit bigger every day"
Me: "Yes it does Max"
Max: "And from drinking milk too- that's why my muscles are getting so strong"
Me: "That's right Max, milk is very good for your bones and muscles"

On Nature

Pat: "Max, what are you doing?"
Max: "Trying to climb that tree"
Pat: "But Max, you can't, there are no branches at the bottom, only bark"
Max: "But I want to see the birds in the tree. The birds love me"

On the Phone

Max: "I want to talk to Brooklyn"
Me (putting the phone on speaker): "Ok you can talk now Max, Brooklyn will be able to hear you"
Max: "Hi Brooklyn. I love you."
Me: "Max, Brooklyn is looking all around for but doesn't understand that you are in the phone "
Max: "Oh...! I'm sorry that I can't be there"

On Milk

Max: "Mommy, who went out and bought milk last night?"
Me: "Daddy"
Max: "Where did the milk come from?"
Me: "From the store"
Max: "No Mommy- milk comes from a cow!"
Me (laughing): "You are absolutely right Max"
Max: "Who brings the milk from the cow to the store? The mailman?"
Me: "No, a delivery man gets the milk from the farmer and brings it to the store"
Max: "Oh, ok, thanks Mommy!"