On the Value of Money

Max was role playing tonight as a motorist whose car had broken down (I was the mechanic)

Max: "My car is broken! The battery is dead, the headlights are broken and the bumper is dented. Can you fix it?"

Me: "Yes sir, I can, but it will cost you a lot of money"

Max: "That's ok, I have lots of money"

Me: "Ok then" (play fixing the imaginary car) "All fixed! That will be $1000"

Max: "Ok, here, I have five 10 dollar bills"

Me: "Well, that's not exactly $1000"

Max: "Oh, ok, then I have $1000!"

Oh Sweetheart

Max has had a random attachment to the word "sweetheart" this past week. Here are a few instances in which he has used it:

Me: "Max, please go to the bathroom before bed"
Max: "I don't have to"
Me: "Ok, let's go to the bathroom together"
Max: "Can we do that? Sit on the toilet next to each other like two sweethearts???"

----------------------------

Pat: "Max, are you hungry?"
Max: "No"
(Pat makes a big sandwhich for lunch)
Max: "Daddy, did you make that sandwhich for us to share?"
Pat: "Yes I did"
Max: "Oh, you're such a sweatheart"

On Making Connections

Max: "Brooklyn, let's steal the fishes!"

Me: "Max, that's not nice! Do you know what it means to steal?"

Max: "No- all I know is that on Home Alone, the robbers steal things from the house"

(I found this fascinating- that he could not know what a word meant but make the exact right connection based on a movie he had seen)

The Elf on the Shelf

This post will only be relevant to parents who know what The Elf on the Shelf is; an elf who watches over the children (whose parents purchase him) and returns to the North Pole every night to report on that child's behaviour. This concept did not go over well with Max:

Me (after Max misbehaved): "Max, look at the elf on the shelf over there. Do you think Santa will be happy with your behaviour when the elf reports back to him tonight?"

Max (yelling): "I DON'T WANT HIM HERE!"

This was followed by Pat and I bursting into (soft) laughter as Max ran into the kitchen.

Later tonight when Pat was putting Max to bed:

Max: "Daddy, is the elf still here?"

Pat: "Yes Max, he only goes back to the North Pole once we are all sleeping"

Max: "Does Santa like wine?"

Pat: "No"

Max: "Coffee?"

Pat: "Yes, I think so"

Max:"Ok, let's give him coffee and vanilla yogurt when he comes to our house"

On Telling it like It Is

For the past few months, Pat has been growing his. Nothing too crazy or long '70's style, but not the clean-cut look we are accustomed to. 

Max: "Daddy, you look like a lady! Especially when you do this (flipping a longer front piece of Pat's hair). Or a peddler"

On Being Commanding

We had a big snowstorm last night and so Max ended up sleeping at his grand parents house. On the phone with me this morning:

Max: "Mommy I want to speak to Brooklyn"

Brooklyn: "Oh no! Awawa alla bzuphm (and other baby gibberish, yelled)"

Max (laughing): "Mommy she's talking funny! Where is Daddy?"

Me: "He's sleeping"

Max: "Wake him up please! Tell him he has a lot of shovelling to do!"

On Sleeping Habits

My trick when Max is getting difficult to put to bed and pulling 101 excuses is to remind him that I have to get back downstairs to finish the dishes and prep for the next day. Tonight he wasn't being difficult but I was really tired and put my head down for a second. Upon seeing me do that:

Max ( in an urgent voice) : "Mommy, go to bed! It's ok, Daddy can do the dishes. Really Mommy, go to bed!"

So Polite (sometimes)

While my mother-in-law was speaking to Max on the phone tonight:

Max: "Can I please speak to Grandpapa for a moment?"

Free styling

This is one of those posts that would be so much punchier if Blogger allowed the upload of video content. You'll have to imagine the following line sung loudly, in a 4 year old's French accented voice:

Max (to the tune of Hallelujah): "Glory, glory Halle-New York!"

On Being Observant

Upon seeing his grandfather coming back into our house minutes after having left:

Max: "Grandpapa, what did you forget?"

Grandpapa (laughing): "My keys"

Max: "Oh well that's ok, not a big deal at all Grandpapa!"

On Being Strong

Max is in a "I'm so strong/Feel my Big Muscles" phase. In the bath tonight, he re-enacted being a dolphin, diving into the water

Max: "I'm so strong! I can lift a pound!!!"
Me: "Wow!"
Max: "I know!

On Bedtime Antics

Max (getting out of bed way past his bedtime and coming to the top of the stairs): "Daddy, when is my birthday?"

Pat: "September of next year Max"

Max: "Oh, well, my tummy is telling me that it wants cake now"

Pat: "Really? You know what the clock is saying Max? It's saying that it's 9:00 and way past your bedtime"

Max ( big sigh): "Fffffiiinnneee"

On Cuba

Max: "Mommy, when we go to Cuba, there has to be one bed for you, one bed for Daddy and I, and  a little crib for Brooklyn"

Me: "There should be Max"

Max: "Are we taking the airplane to go to Cuba?"

Me: "Yes"

Max: "OK good,  because Cuba is far far away"

On Being Observant

Max: "Mommy, Brooklyn didn't cry when you put her to bed tonight!"

Me: "No, she didn't"

Max: "What a good girl!"

On Caring

I was at the eye doctor  last night and had drops put in my eyes that blurred my vision

Max: "Mommy, can you read me a book?"

Me: "I don't know that I can Max, but I can try"

Max: "Can I give you a hug mommy, or will it hurt your eyes?"

First thing this morning:

Max: "Mommy, can you see now?"

On Behaviour

When picking up Max at school tonight one of the little girls in his class had a complete tantrum meltdown.

Max had this comment to make, while shaking his head:

"I've never done that before Mommy!"

On Discipline

Today was one of those days were Max's listening skills were not at their best and where he ended up in time-outs. Here is what he had to say about those:

The first one:

Me: "why have you not been listening today?"

Max: "Because I've been really distracted" 

(Honestly, where does he come up with this stuff??)

The second time:

"Mommy, can we talk about this?"

Me: "Yes Max- what's been going on today?"

Max: "Well, I'm just really tired today- I didn't sleep very well last night"

On Being Spoiled

Me: "Max, it's Grandma's birthday tomorrow so I bought her a card."

Max: "Write in it: 'thank you for spoiling me grandma Bubs!'"

On Ordering

On Saturday, Max and I had a little date: I brought him to the Museum of Modern Art and then out for lunch. The following is a conversation we had at the restaurant:

Me: "Max, what would you like to drink?"
Max: "Coffee!"
Me: "Hahaha Max, very funny"

With the waiter at the table:
Me: "Max, what would you like to drink?"
Max (directly to the waiter): "Ice water please"

Later, at home:

Me: "Thank you Max, I had  areally fun afternoon with you, you're a great date"
Max: "Yes, I know"

A Real Little Jokker

My mother's cousin was talking about her son's wedding and asking Pat if he was there.

Pat: "When was the wedding?"

Connie: "Nine years ago. Were you in Alyssa's life then?"

Pat: "No, not if it was nine years ago"

Max: "Well I certainly wasn't in her life then either!"

We all burst out laughing, Max included. We hadn't even realized he was following the conversation!

Smarty Pants

Me: "Max, I think you should build a strong base for your tower, and then put smaller blocks on top"

Max: "I know, that's exactly what I was thinking too Mommy"

Random Max Awesomeness

Auntie Meli (in reference to Max's moves on the dance floor last Sat night): "Max, who knew you could dance so well?"

Max: "No one!"

Max (while I pushed him "high like the sky" on the swings as he giggled): "I feel it in my penis!!!"

Me: "Max why were you misbehaving tonight?"

Max: "Mommy, let's talk about it"

Me: "Yes, let's. Why the bad behaviour?"

Max: "I try to listen all of the time, but sometimes I lose my patience"

Little Party Animal

At Max's 2nd cocktail in as many weeks, he showed off his moves on the dance floor and impressed everyone there!

Max (after 5 minutes of being at the cocktail): "Mommy, when do we get to start dancing?"

On Being an Adult

Me: "Max, you have such big feet!"

Max: "But you have bigger feet"

Me: "That's because I'm an adult"

Max: "I'm an adult too- a short adult"

All grown up?

Max: "Ok Mommy, listen to my plan for today"

Me: "Yes Max, tell me your plan"

Max: "Daddy will drive you to the metro, Brooklyn to daycare and then me to pre-school"

Me: "That sounds like a plan Max"

Max: "A good plan"

On Manners

Me (at the park): "Max, do you want me to push you higher on the swing?"

Max: "No thank you Mommy, I'm fine, but thanks for asking"

On Co-Sleeping

Me: "Max, guess who is coming to visit?"

Max: "Who?"

Me: "Uncle Nick and Annabelle. They are going to stay with us and sleep downstairs"

Max: "But there is only one sleep bed downstairs"

Me: "I know. They are going to sleep in the bed together"

Max: "No. There's no room"

Happy Birthday Max

PThis is a very special day- Max's 4th birthday! It just so happened that his great grandpa Manny was being honoured today and, as he was the 1st person at the hospital after Max was born, I thought it was extra fitting that Max should be my date to the cocktail. Here are a few of the adorable things he said at the event:

Max (during the speeches, leaning in to whisper to me): "Mommy, are they going to call my name, or just adults?"

Max (to the photographer): "I'd like more pictures please!"

Photographer: "Ok, of just you, or you and mommy?"

Max: "No, of just me"

Guest at cocktail: "I hear it's your birthday today, how old are you?"

Max: "14"

Me: "Max! You are not turning 14"

Max (laughing): "No! I'm turning 5!"

Oh this little adorable joker...below a photo of him enjoying a salmon and roasted nut skewer, and glass of water

On Self-Confidance

Max really enjoys cooking with me, and so, since he's been a toddler, I've been putting him up on the kitchen counter with me and doing things like baking muffins. He likes to pour in the ingredients, help with the mixer and, of course, eat the chocolate chips!

Max (sitting on the counter): "Ok Mommy, I'm ready to get down now" (as he he lifts himself up on his arms and starts swinging his legs to jump down)
Me: "Ok, Max, I can help you get down"
Max: "It's ok Mommy, I can do it, I just need to believe in myself!"

On Choice

Max (to Pat and I): Ok. Listen. You have two choices (holding up his "stop" hand and mimicking adult behaviour) "The banana and chocolate or the vanilla"

Oh Henry

This would have been much better as a video, but my friend Lizzie and I were too busy trying to keep our sons, "best friends" Henry and Max from killing each other on the playground to whip out our iPhones  and start filming. When we weren't physically separating them or otherwise intervening, we were laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation. These boys spent almost every day of their early lives together ( they are just 3 days apart) as we lived across the park from one another. Lizzie and family moved to New York (Brooklyn) and we bought a house in the burbs. Max and Henry haven't seen each other in over a year, but we weren't expecting this...(excerpts of a variety of the inane things they screamed at each other yesterday):

Henry: "Let's run to the park"

Max: "I don't want to run, I want to walk"

Me: "Why don't you two hold hands and we'll get to the park together"

Henry: "I don't want to hold this slow pokes hand!"

Max: "I don't want to hold his hand either!"

At the park:

Henry (yelling at Max): YOU HAVE TO PLAY WiTH ME!"

Max (yelling back): "I AM SO ANGRY RIGHT NOW!"

Ensuing fight in which they threw sand at each other (lovely for us moms to witness and not embarrassing at all with the other kids and parents at the park)

Also at the park:

Henry: "Poo poo!"

Max: "Caca!"

Lizzie: "Henry doesn't know that word..."

This went on for almost an hour and involved various claims of who was first to arrive at a game, who was fastest, biggest, you name it, these 3 year olds fought over it! Lizzie and I did finally manage to broker a peace deal on the walk home after the boys did some hugging it out (although even at that, Max complained during the first hug that Henry was squeezing him too hard!) Now we just have to hope we can make it to Brooklyn one day and the boys will be able to make it through a weekend in peace... A Suivre

Oh the simplicity of friendship

Max: "Mommy, I made friends at preschool today!"

Me: "Oh that's great news Max!"

Max: "One little girl started talking to me and at first I was shy, but then I asked her if she had ice cream at her house and she said 'yes' and then we became best friends"

On Being Curious

Max: "Mommy, what's the difference between the train and the metro?"

Me: "The train goes above ground and the metro goes underground"

Max: "That's so awesome Mommy- you taught me something!"

On Being a Professional Procrastinator

Max (coming downstairs, when he should be up in bed, sleeping): "Mommy, I want to tell you something"

Me (thinking he is going to say "I love you", as he usually does): "What Max?"

Max: "Do you know that roads are made of asphalt?"

Me: "Ok Max that's it, up to bed for dodo right now"

Addendum

In yesterday's post about cooking with mommy, I quoted Max as saying his idea was "marvellous". Max actually said his idea was "Splendid, just splendid".

I always try to write exactly what Max said as that is the point of this blog; to preserve the amazingly awesome things that come out of his mouth, to look back on and read when he's a teenager, making me totally crazy. My husband corrected me and reminded me that he had said "splendid".

Marvelous, just Marvelous

Max: "Daddy, you can leave the kitchen now that Mommy is back. She and I are going to cook together."
Pat: "Ok Max"
Max: "Actually, you can stay and do the dishes. I think that's a marvelous idea"
Pat (laughing): "Oh really, Max, a marvelous idea?"
Max (also laughing): "Yes, just marvelous!"

On Pre-School

The following is a phone conversation:

Max: "Mommy, I want to speak at Brooklyn"

Me: "Ok, here she is Max"

Max: "Allo Brooklyn! I started pre-school today!"

Brooklyn (incomprehensible baby babble)

Max: "Where were you today Brooklyn?"

Brooklyn (yelling incomprehensible baby babble and hanging up the phone)

Max (calling back, with grand papa's help): "Mommy, I  want to speak at Brooklyn again, I wasn't finished my story"

Sander isms part two

I don't often blog about anyone other than Max, but I have blogged about my friend's son Sander in the past because he is a natural born ladies man. Apparently when he was out with his dad last week, his dad actually had to tell the women Sander was "hitting on" that he doesn't teach him this stuff, he just comes out with it all on his own!

Sander (to me this morning): "Yuummm you smell so good! I could just smell you all day!"

Sander (to two little girls he met at a jungle gym as they we were leaving): "Good-bye my sweeties! I love you!"

Sander (to his mom): "Mom, I have girls problems"

Mom: "What Sander?"

Sander: "Two girls at school want to marry me and I don't want to chose because then I'll make the other one sad"

Mom: "How do you think you can find a solution to this problem?"

Sander: "I know! I'll have a competition between them. Whoever wins, gets to marry me"

The Wheels on the Bus

This won't come across nearly as well on "paper" as it did in real life this morning, but Max made up the lyrics to his own song, to the tune of Wheels on the Bus.

It went something like this:

"Mommy, come downstairs, I know that you can do it! Mommy, mommy mom, come on down, you can do it"  

On Family Ties

The following is a conversation between my dad and Max about my two brothers:

Grandpa: "Max you're going on vacation with Mommy and Daddy next week"

Max: "No I'm not"

Grandpa: "Yes you are. You're going to Toronto to visit uncle Nick"

Max: "You know him?"

Grandpa: "Yes I know him, he's my son"

Max: "Really? That guy?"

Grandpa: "Yes, and uncle Josh too, he's my son as well"

Max (in disbelief): "Really? You know uncle Josh too???"

Maxim isms

Various things Max has said today but also questions he's been repeatedly asking lately:

Max: "Are they calling for rain today?"

Max: "Mommy, does the engine in your car have enough energy today?"

Max: "Daddy, you might want to take your t-shirt off when you are in my room as my room is too freakin' hot"

Max (not wanting to share his toys with Brooklyn): "Brooklyn! Go back into Mommy's tummy!"

Max: "I'm carrying quite a lot in my hands right now but I'll try to make it down the stairs"

Max: "Is it far where we are going today Mommy to visit aunt Ev?"

Me: "No Max, we're just going to Montreal"

Max (big sigh): "Oh, with all the traffic"

Later, at great aunt Ev's

Max: "Mommy is Ev old?" (When I didn't respond right away out of politeness, Max immediately jumped in with) "Yes or No?"

Max (on his love of grapes): "I'm a grape man!"

Me: "Max, do you want to shuck corn with me?"

Max: "Yes please! Team Mommy and Max!"

On Hospitality

Sophya (my best friend's daughter): "I want to sleep here tonight!"

Max: "But there is only 1 bed for Mommy, 1 bed for Brooklyn and 1 bed for me"

Sophya: "Oh..."

Max: "Sorry Sophya..."

On Race

Pat was telling a story at diner about one of his clients, when Max interrupted with the following:

Max: "Was her face black?"

Pat: "No, it was white"

Max: "Why?"

Me: "Max honey, there are white people, and black people, and people from countries like India who are brown; there are all sorts of different people in the world"

Max: "Is tiger sand in India?"

Me: "Yes Max, there is sand in India"

On Vacationing

Grandma: "Max, where should we go on vacation?"

Max: "Oka beach!"

Grandma: "Really?"

Max: "No! Plattsburgh is a better idea"

On Wine

My father-in-law at the diner table: "Who wants more wine?"

Max: "Not me!"

On Relationships

Max: "I don't love Delphine anymore!"

Me: "Max that's not very nice, Delphine is one of your good friends"

Max: "No, she's not nice! I'm going to throw her in the garbage!"

Me: "Max we do not talk about throwing people in the garbage. That is not nice at all. Would you want Delphine to say that about you?"

Max: "Um...well...no...ok I love her again"

So Wise

We recently renovated our basement and completed a full bathroom. Max loved to shower in our last house and has been waiting for this bathroom to be finished.

Max: "Daddy, can we take a shower tonight?"

Pat: "That sounds like a great idea"

Me: "Just a sec though Max, I think that bathroom still needs to be cleaned"

Max: "Oh don't worry about that Mommy, it's no problem, it will be just fine"

Me (laughing): "Ok Max, if you say so sweetheart"

On Finances

Max: "Mommy am I going to my new school tomorrow?"

Me: "No Max, you start your new school in August and we are only July now"

Max: "But why Mommy?"

Me: "Because I'm only paying for the new school in August"

Max: "That's ok Mommy, I'll pay for July"

On Bridges

Max: "Look Mommy, I built a bridge!"

Me: "Wow Max, what a great bridge! What is it calked? The Maxim Bridge?"

Max: "No Mommy! It's called the Brooklyn Bridge!"

On Being a Wise Guy (already!)

Me: "Max, you aren't showing me very good behaviour"

Max: "Then put me in a timeout"

Me: "Max, I have asked you to listen to me, otherwise there will be a consequence"

Max: "Oh, don't worry about me" (in a sing song voice)

Lessons from a three-year old

Max: "Mommy, who painted your toes?"

Me: "A lady in New York"

Max: "What's her name?"

Me: "I don't know Max, I didn't ask"

Max: "Why not?"

Me: "That's a good question Max and you're right, I should always ask people their names"

Funny Question

Brooklyn has started babbling a lot lately and even saying a few words clearly. This has picked Max's curiosity as to when he started talking. Tonight after diner:

Max: "Mommy, I went to see Brooklyn in the hospital after she was born"

Me: "Yes you did Max"

Max: "Why was she in the hospital? Was she sick?"

Me: "No Max, that's where most babies are born because that's where the doctors are"

Max: "I was born in the hospital too?"

Me: "Yes"

Max: "Did I say hello to the doctor?"

Pat (bursting into laughter): "Yes Max, you said hello to the doctor and then didn't speak again for 18 months!"

Max (laughing too): "No I didn't!!"

On Self-Discipline

Max (at bedtime): "Oh Daddy, I tried to be good at bedtime"

Pat: "There's always tomorrow night Max, you can try again then"

Max: "Ok Daddy, I promise to do that"

Julianne

I usually only post about Max, but having just spent a weekend with my awesome 7 1/2 year old niece, Julianne, I feel compelled to write a few of the "wise beyond her years" things that have come out of her mouth:

Julianne (pretend fainting on the grass) : "0h Alyssa, it is so hard taking care of little kids...You know how it is"

Me: "Julianne come into the bathroom, Max really wants you in here while he takes a bath"

Julianne: "But I don't want to take a bath"

Me: "Just sit on the toilet and entertain him"

Julianne (sitting on toilet): "We'll, as long as I am here, I might as well take a poo"

Julianne (playing doctor, clipboard and all): "Maxim Moreau! You are called into room 5 please. Now, let's start with a basic history. How old are you?

Max:" 3"

Julianne: "What is your last name? Oh right I know it, Moreau. What are you here for?"

Max (blank look)

Julianne: "An ear infection?"

Oh Max

Me (upon arriving home): "Please give me my iPhone so it doesn't get wet in the rain"

Max (deadpan): "Mommy don't disturb me"

----–--

Me: "Max, please put your books away before you start playing with your puzzle"

Max: "Ok Mommy" (as he starts putting all of the books back haphazardly on his shelf)

Me: "Max, just to give you a hint, it's better if you put the bigger books on the bottom and the smaller ones on top"

Max (philosophically): "Oh well, it's too late now"

On Technology

Max was using the iPad and Brooklyn was reaching for it:
Max: "No Brooklyn!"
Pat: "Max, please share with your sister"
Max: "Daddy, did you use to share your iPad with uncle Andrew?"
Pat: "the iPad wasn't invented when Daddy was a little boy"
Max (total disbelief): "What???"

Checking In

Max: "Mommy, was I good at bedtime last night?"
Me: "Yes Max, you were"
Max: "Are you sure?"

Big Questions

Max: "Mommy, what is telling the truth?"
Me: "Well, let's say you see 1 bus in front of you but you say that you see 2, that would not be the truth. The truth is saying what you see or feel, otherwise, it's a lie"
Max: "Oh ok. So Delphine told the truth today"
Me: "Telling the truth is good Max"
Max: "Yes. Lying, no"

On Not Quite Getting It

Me: "Max, you're so handsome"
Max: "You too Mommy"

On Telling Time (sort of)

Max (downstairs having a quick snack before bedtime): "Mommy I'll keep my voice down because Brooklyn is sleeping"
Me: "Good idea Max"
Max: "Tomorrow morning I am going to wake up at 7:765"
Me: "Really"
Max: "Actually no, 8 o'clock, that's a good time"

On Being Realistic

Max had a really big day today. He was outside in the high heat/humidity at a fire truck parade and then at a Bazaar at a park near our house, jumping on inflatable toys.

Me: "Max, I'm afraid you are going to fall asleep on the way to Connie and Roy's for diner tonight"
Max: "Well... Yes... I'll get in the car and I won't sleep, but then you'll get on the highway and I will fall asleep"
Below is a picture of what actually happened at about 5pm tonight, long before even getting into the car!

On Kleptomania

As I was holding baby Brooklyn tonight, I fished a truck I had never seen out of her hoodie
Me: "What is this?"
Max: "It's from Julia's!" ( the daycare)
Pat: "Did you take it Max?"
Max: "Yes, I put it in Brooklyn's hood so I could bring it home" At which point pretty much all three of us were laughing hysterically
Pat (to me): "Good to know we are raising a 3 year old kleptomaniac. .."

On Nutrition

Max (eyeing the bruschetta on the table): "Is that spicy?"
Pat: "No, just garlicky. Would you like to try some?"
Max: "Yes please! (Eating some on a large crouton) Yum Yum Delicious! Est-ce que c'est bon pour ma sante?"
Pat (laughing): "Yes- garlic and tomatoes are both good for you"
Max: "So now it will help me grow big and strong, with good muscles!"

A Song for Brooklyn

Max (singing to Brooklyn in her room as she was protesting bedtime): "Go to sleep Brooklyn, close your eyes, go to sleep right now, I love you, go to sleep"

Tongue Twister

Pat: "Don't let the bed bugs bite"
Max: "Don't let the bite bugs bad"
(Pat and Max laughing) Pat: "Try again. Don't let the bed bugs bite"
Max: "Don't let the bad bite bugs" (breaking off into hysteric giggles, with Pat laughing next to him as well"
Max: "I really need to practice that!!"
Me (slowly): "Don't. Let. The. Bed. Bugs. Bite"
Max (finally getting it): "Don't let the bed bugs bite" yay! I got it! (So proud of himself)

Philosophical Discussion

Me: "Max I really love baking cookies with you; it makes mommy happy because I remember baking cookies with my mommy"
Max: "Grandma is your Mommy?"
Me: "No honey, you never met my mommy, she's in heaven"
Max: "In heaven? Where is that place? I think I visited it once "
Me: "Really?"
Max: "Yes, when we went to New York to visit Henry"
Me: "Oh..."
Max: "Are there toys in heaven?"
Me: "I don't see why not"
Max: "Fire trucks??"
Me: "Yes Max, there are fire trucks in heaven"

When I grow up

Max: "Daddy, I'm a doctor"
Pat: "Really?"
Max: "No, not really, but I will be when I grow up"
Pat: "That's great Max. Do you know that you have to go to school for a long time to become a doctor?"
Max: "That's ok! Come, let me show you my office"

Everything is A.O.K

Me: "Max! Are you ok?"
Max: "Yes, I'm just fine"

On Peeing

Me: "Max I have to pee"
Max: "Me too- I was just thinking that while I was outside (sitting on the toilet and peeing) and look! It came true!"

On Building

Max: "Mommy can I have water please for the sand castle I'm building?"
Me: "Yes of course Max, here you go"
Max (outside with Uncle Nick): "I'm building you a house"
Nick: "Whose going to live in it?"
Max: "You and Annabelle"
Nick: "Will you come visit us?"
Max: "Yes but not very often because I'm busy"

On Hockey

Max: "Is goalie Price going to score tonight?"
Pat: "He is going to play tonight but goalie's don't score, they block shots"
Max: "Et le but!!!"
Pat: "No, no score Max"
Max: "No but?"

On Big Muscles

Max (flexing): "Look at my big muscles Mommy"
Me (looking at his little skinny arm): "Wow Max, you're getting strong!"
Max: "From eating food. It makes me a little bit bigger every day"
Me: "Yes it does Max"
Max: "And from drinking milk too- that's why my muscles are getting so strong"
Me: "That's right Max, milk is very good for your bones and muscles"

On Nature

Pat: "Max, what are you doing?"
Max: "Trying to climb that tree"
Pat: "But Max, you can't, there are no branches at the bottom, only bark"
Max: "But I want to see the birds in the tree. The birds love me"

On the Phone

Max: "I want to talk to Brooklyn"
Me (putting the phone on speaker): "Ok you can talk now Max, Brooklyn will be able to hear you"
Max: "Hi Brooklyn. I love you."
Me: "Max, Brooklyn is looking all around for but doesn't understand that you are in the phone "
Max: "Oh...! I'm sorry that I can't be there"

On Milk

Max: "Mommy, who went out and bought milk last night?"
Me: "Daddy"
Max: "Where did the milk come from?"
Me: "From the store"
Max: "No Mommy- milk comes from a cow!"
Me (laughing): "You are absolutely right Max"
Max: "Who brings the milk from the cow to the store? The mailman?"
Me: "No, a delivery man gets the milk from the farmer and brings it to the store"
Max: "Oh, ok, thanks Mommy!"

On Missing Julia

Me: "Max are you so happy that Julia is back? (His day care provider who was gone for 2 weeks)
Max: "Yes, I told her that I loved her!"

Just too many cute things to chose only one today!

Max (on the phone on his bike): "Ya, hi, someone is sick, can you please bring them to the hospital? I'm too busy. Ya, ok, thanks. I'll call you back after I've finished what I'm doing. Ok, great, talk to you later"
Me: "Who was that Max?"
Max: "The fire chief"

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Max (back from the store with Pat, carrying flowers): "Mommy, close your eyes, I have a surprise for you!"
Me (eyes closed, then open): "Wow Max!"
Max: "I know you and Brookyn are girls, so I bought you purple flowers"
Me: "Ah that's so sweet Max, thank you!"

__________________________________________________________________________________

Pat: "Max, tonight is the last night of the hockey season"
Max: "Someone is going to score?"
Pat: "Yes"
Max: "Who? Carey Price?"
Me (in complete disbelief): "How does he know that??"
Pat: "Well not Carey Price because he's the goalie, but someone on his team"
Max: "The foreward?"

The Difficult Questions

Max: "Mommy do you have a zizi?" ("zizi" is Quebec slang for penis)
Me: "No, Max, I don't"
Max: "Why?"
Me: "Because I'm a girl, and girls don't have zizi's, only boys"
Max: "Why?"
Me: "Because we have something else.."(this is when I started really wishing the conversation wasn't happening at 6 am on a week day when I had to rush to get everyone ready)
Max: "A small zizi?" (At which point I gave up on the conversation completely and changed the topic!)

It's Exhausting Being 3 1/2

Max: "Daddy I'm tired, I had a long day (big sigh)"
Pat: "I'm tired too Max"
Max: "It's a good thing I am about to get all cosy and comfy in my bed!"0

Brotherly Love

Max: "Mommy, I love Brooklyn so much, I want to keep her for all of my life"
Me: "She's your sister Max, so she'll be with you your whole life"
Max: "Do you promise Mommy?"
Me: "Yes Max, I promise"

Daddy's Birthday Part II

Max (singing) : "Happy birthday daddy, happy birthday daddy, happy birthday, happy birthday, happy birthday Maxim!"
Pat: "Oh how nice Max, a double birthday song"
Max: "No, it's just for me, it's only my birthday"

On Daddy's Birthday

Me: "Max, we're going to go buy Daddy a birthday present later"
Max: "Why?"
Me: "Because it's his birthday tomorrow"
Max: No, no present; he doesn't need anything"

Just being so darn Cute

Max (hugging his baby bear): "Mommy, my baby bear said 'Maxim I love you' and I said "that's so sweet"

On Being a Drama King

Max (at bedtime): "Mommy, my tummy is really, really, rumbling! It hurts"
Me: "Max, I think you just ate too much. Take some deep breaths and lie down to go to sleep. Your tummy will be fine soon"
Max: "No, I think it won't be"

Max (next morning): "Mommy, my tummy hurt is gone away! But was replaced by a cough..." (coughs  weakly a few times to prove his point) "I need medicine!!!"
Me (rolling my eyes): "You'll be fine Max, don't worry about it..."

On Showering

Max: "Mommy, you're taking a shower?"
Me: "Yes honey, I am"
Max: "But it's not the morning! Why you taking a shower at night?"
Me: "Because I have to wash my hair and Mommy doesn't have time to do that in the morning"
Max: "Oh... I understand Mommy!"

On Being Born into a Construction Family

Every morning upon waking, I ask Max what he has dreamnt about the night before. The conversation always goes something like this:

Me: "Good morning my love. Did you have a good dodo? What did you dream about last night?"
Max: "Ummm...I dreamed about a paver, paving that street, with ashphalt and grout"
or
Max: "I dreamed about a backhoe and a dump truck, building a house"
or
Max: "I dreamed about digging and digging and digging...."


You get the gist! We figure he may be destined to go into the fmaily business and own his own contruction company one day!

On Airplanes

Max: "Look Mommy, an airplane! Why can we hear his noise? We can't usually hear his noise"
Me: "It's because the airplane is flying low"
Max: "And why can we see him?"
Me: "Also because he is flying low Max"
Max: "He's going to that airport?"
Me: "That's a good guess Max"
Max: "Yes I think so"

On Consequences

Me (as Max was misbehaving): "Max, what is a consequence?"
Max: "It's when you take something away that I like"
Me: "Exactly- so please stop what you are doing, or there will be no train game tonight"
Max: "I'm really, really sorry Mommy"
Me: "For what Max?"
Max: "For not listening"

On the Rain

Me (hearing Max walking around upstairs): "Max, are you coming donwstairs?"
Max: "No I can't, it's too sunny and bright out"
Me: "Actually Max, it's raining"
Max: "Oh, rain will help the plants to grow!"
Me: "Yes, it will"
Max: "Look, it's raining over there, on the patio, and over there too!" (pointing to the other side of the house, at the driveway)
Me: "Yes, well, when it rains, it does tend to rain all over the place..."

Awesome One Liners

Max: "Oh! I forgot to give someone a kiss!" (meaning me as he was on his way upstairs to bed)

Max: "Maintenant tu comprends Grand-Papa" (after his grand-father finally made the right truck noise, according to Max)

Max: "Mommy it's grand-papa's birthday- did you know that?"
Me (I would hope so as I was hosting his birthday diner): "Yes Max, I did!"

Max: "Mommy, why did you drive that taxi home?"
Pat: "Max, Mommy didn't drive the taxi home, the taxi drove her home"
Max:" Well who drove the taxi? And why is it just parked there?"

Max: "Mommy I love you really much, from morning until night"

Max: "Mmmooooommmmyyyy!!! I'm a chocolate lover!"

Max (on his time spent in the pool): "Mommy I am so pleased with myself!"

Environmentally Friendly

This past Easter weekend we were in the country for my family's celebration and Pat and Max were playing a game where they were guessing which car in the driveway belonged to which family member. When there were only two cars left:
Pat: "Max who do you think the blue car belongs to?
Max: "Grandmaman Francine"
Pat: "And who do you think the silver car belongs to?"
Max: "Um...um...Grandpa Gerry?"
Pat: "Yes, that's right!"
Max: "But why do they have 2 cars instead of 1?"

I posted this conversation because I am very proud of the values we have instilled in Max. The fact that he finds it abnormal for 2 people to own 2 cars gives me hope that he and his generation will do better by our planet than my generation and generations past.
The photos are posted just for pleasure as I don't feel that I post enough pictures on my blog to make Max and Brooklyn "real" to readers.
Enjoy!

On Québec's love of Franglais

Max is bilingual, although we aren't always sure he's aware of that! He tends to mix French and English words into sentences together, in what has belovedly become known in Québec as "Franglais". Lately he's had a tendancy to throw the French word "plus" randomly into sentences, which sounds something like this:

Max: "Mommy, I plus eat this?"
Max: "Daddy, I plus play with that firetruck?"
Max: "I plus go to Julia's tomorrow?"

Of course, when questioned as to what "plus" means, or why he's applying it to so many of his sentences, Max doesn't exactly give a clear answer! 

On Acting Older

During a tour around the block on his bike, Max had the following one-way conversation on the toy cell phone attached to the bike:
Max: "Ya so I'm taking a ride on my bike, then I'm going to go have super, then I'm going home and reading a book and going to bed" (hangs up the phone)
Me: "Who was that Max?"
Max: "Grandma"

On Being a Gentleman

Max: "Mommy why didn't we pick you up after work today?"
Me: "Because I worked at a different office today Max that is too far away for you to come pick me up at"
Max: "I would have come to get you anyway Mommy"

On Passover

Me (Max in bath): "Max we have to wash your hair tonight because we have a party to go to tomorrow"
Max: "Wash my hair? So that everyone at that party can say 'wow, look at Maxim's hair?'"
Me: "Yes, exactly. The party is because we are Jewish. It's called Passover. Do you remember when we talked about being Jewish?"
Max: "Yes"
(A few minutes later when Pat came into the bathroom)
Max: "Daddy, are you coming to that birthday party tomorrow?"
Me (in the background): "No, not birthday party, Passover Seder... Ok we'll try this again tomorrow night.

Sanderisms

For the first time since I created this blog almost 4 months ago, I am going to write about someone other than Max. I feel like a bit of a traitor, but my interactions with my friend's 5-year old yesterday were just too cute to pass up putting down on "paper"

Max: "I love you Mommy"
Sander: "I love you too! I love you more than Max does; I love you to the moon and space and then what is beyond space and beyond the blackness"
Me: "Wow Sander, I think that might be the nicest thing ANYONE of the male species has ever said to me. You are so sweet"
Sander: "No, you're the sweetest"

I have since told his parents to watch out for him as he will clearly be a real Romeo later in life. My husband has also asked him for his number so that he can call him from time to time when he needs help with some affectinate one-liners...

On Brooklyn's Health

Max: "Mommy, is Brooklyn sick?"
Me: "Well she has a bit of fever Max; we think it is her teeth coming in"
Max: "Oh, that doesn't sound very good..."( said in his best concerned older brother voice, complete with sad face)

Mechant or not Mechant?

Me (as Max put his boxers on): "Look Max, your boxers have sharks on them"
Max: "Are these sharks mechant or not mechant?"
Me: They are not mechant Max, they are nice sharks"
Max: "Ok, that's good"

On Play Acting

Max (playing fireman and policeman in our living room ): "Be careful Mommy! Brooklyn cannot go into that street, there are buses and cars. It's dangerous!"

Our Loving Max

Max: "I love you!"
Me: "Oh I love you too Max!"
Max: "No Mommy, I meant Brooklyn"

On Daddy Being Hurt

Last night Pat cut himself pretty deeply and as he was bleeding, yelled up to Max and I to get him a bandage

Max (yelling downstairs): "Ok Daddy, we're coming with a band-aid!"
Pat (yelling back upstairs): "Thank you buddy"
Max (upon seeing the wound): "Oh no! I'm going to need to buy myself a new Daddy!"

On Strategy

While playing a child's version of dominos:

Max (as I put a card down): "I see your thought there Mommy."
Me: "What Max!? Did you just say you saw my thought process there?"
Max: "Yes! (laughing uncontrollably)"
Me: "Oh you are just so smart and funny sometimes..."
Max: "I know, I know"

On Looking out for Brooklyn

Max: "No no no no, I don't like what Brooklyn is playing with!"
(As Brooklyn plays with a tupperware bowl in her high chair)
Me: "It's ok, Max, she can play with that, I gave it to her"
Max: "That doesn't sound like a good ides"
Me: "Max, it's ok, it's not the bowl she was eating out of, it's another one"
Max: "No, no good..."

Philosophical Questions

Max: "Mommy, why do babies cry?"
Me: "Because they can't yet talk and express themselves in any other way"
Max: "That's why they smile also?"
Me: "Yes Max, they smile to let us know they are happy"
Max: "Oh, so that's why Brooklyn cries and smiles!"

On Being Precise

Me: "Max, its bath time!"
Max: "Ok, but I just want to jump in and jump out of the bath"
Me: "Ok fine"
(Of course, once he's in the bath, he has lots of fun)
Max: "Ok Mommy, I am ready to get out"
Me: "Ok I'm ready with your towel"
Max: "No I don't want to get out now"
Me: "Well Max it's either you or Brooklyn, but one of you has to get out now"
Max: "I'll be ready to get out in 4 minutes, ok Mommy?"

On Technology

Our internet was down this morning, so Max couldn't watch his morning video

Max: "I want to watch Finley!"
Me: "I know Max, and I'm trying everything that I can, but our Internet seems to be down"
Max: "I don't want it to be down! I want to be able to watch Finley"
Me: "I'll call the company later, but there is nothing I can do right now"

After daycare:

Max: "Mommy, did you charge the ipad?"
Me: "No Max, it's not that the ipad wasn't charged, it's that the internet wasn't working. But I called the company and they came to fix it"
Max: "How? Where?" (and so on and so forth, with my having to try to explain the wonders of our modern technology!)

On the Time Change

Max: "Mommy, tonight 7 o'clock is different than last night"
Me: "Who told you that Max?"
Max: "Daddy did. Now 8 o'clock is like 7 o'clock"
Me: "Yes that's right Max"
Max: "Yay!! It's still bright outside! I can play trucks outside longer!"
Me: "That's why we changed the time Max..."

On Nose Etiquette

Max: "Mommy I have a boogie in my nose"
Me: "Ok let me get a Q Tip. Which nostril is it in?"
Max: "This one and this one (indicating both nostrils)"
Me: "Ok let me try to get it" (attempt failed)
Max: "Wow this boogie really doesn't want to come out!"

On Boy-Girl Relations

Max: "Why didn't Ayla smile at me?"
Me: "Did you smile at her?"
Max: "No"
Me: "Well if you would smile at her, she would smile at you"
Max: "Ok then..."

On Bedtime Behaviour

Pat: "It's bathtime Max"
Max: "No bath tonight"
Pat: "Max, come on, you take a bath every night with Brooklyn"
Max: "I'm not feeling a bath tonight"
(After the bath)
Me: "Max, are you going to be a good boy at bedtime tonight?"
Max: "I really, really, hope so. I might put my feet up and kick a little, but I really hope to be good"

On Bathroom Etiquette

Max: "I have to go to the bathroom"
Pat: "Ok let me turn the light on for you"
Max (with light on, on the toilet): " Go away Daddy, it stinks!"
Pat: "Ok call me when you're done"
Max: "I'm done Daddy! Go gently Daddy!"

On Being a little Chef

Me: "Let's go see if the water has boiled yet Max"
Max: "I can't see- has it boiled yet?"
Me: " No, it hasn't yet"
Max: " Oh...I'm so sad!"

On Skiing

Max: "Babaloo!!! I'm so happy to see you!"

Our Fire Chief

Max's obsession with fire trucks and play acting as fire chief continues. Below is a photo to illustrate how seriously he takes this- and how awesome his imagination is! He's in full uniform, with the vacuum hose acting as a water spout.

On Days of the Week

Max: " Am I going to Julia's today?"
Me: "No Max, you aren't"
Max: " Because it's samedi?"
Me: " Yes Max, because it's Saturday"
Max: "And tomorrow, I go to Avila to ski, because it's dimanche?"
Me: "That's right Max"

On his Love of all Apple products

Max (holding two cups up to his ears): "Look Mommy; iphones!"
Me: "Um..no..actually, Max, those would be earphones.."

On telling time

Max (first thing in the morning): "Mommy did I wake up at a good time?"
Me: "Yes Max, it's 6:30"
Max: "Yay!!"
Later that morning:
Pat: "Max, what time did you wake up this morning?"
Max: "8:30"

Our Little Fire Fighter

Max (pretending to put on his fire fighting suit): "Gotta go, gotta go! There is an alarm going on, I have a fire to put out!!"
Me: "You mean there is an alarm going off?"
Max: "No, going on" (which I realize actually makes more sense...) Gotta go! Gotta go! I have lots of work to do! There might be a lot of people malade in that fire"

On Snoring

Upon Max jumping into bed with Pat and I in the morning:

Max: "Mommy, why isn't Daddy snoring?"
Me (laughing): "Because he doesn't snore every night Max"
Max: " Oh, I didn't know that"

Still not understand the phone

On the phone with Pat:

Max: "Daddy, watch this!!!!"

On Snowy Days

As I parked under the protective Tempo at the kids daycare:

Max: "What are we doing under this thing?"
Me: "It's to protect you and Brooklyn from the snow outside"
Max: "But I like the snow!"
Me: "Ok, then, its to protect Brooklyn, who is much smaller and was sick all of last week"
Max: "Oh yes, it is very hot under here"
Me: " You're a funny boy, Max.."
Max: "I want to shovel that snow"
Me: " When we get home tonight, you can do that with Daddy"
Max: "That sounds like a good idea Mommy"

On Being Charming

On seeing me dressed up to go to work for the first time in a long time:

Max: "Oh Mommy, that's beautiful what you have on there. Brooklyn too, her polka dots are beautiful"
Me (melting): "Oh Max, that is so sweet of you!"

On Skiing

Max: "I'm excited to go skiing today Mommy"
Me: "Me too Max"
Max: " I not skiing with Claudianne today because she's in school?"
Me: "She's only in school during the week, so you'll do your usual hour with her and then you'll ski with Mommy"
Max: " Yay! I'm so happy Mommy"

On Playing

Max: "Mommy, play trucks with me"
Me: "Ok Max; which truck should I play with?"
Max: "The dump truck"
Me (going over to get the dump truck and drive it over to where Max is)
Max: "No Mommy, not like that!"
Me: "Sorry, show me how"
Max: "Maybe I just want to play tout seul..."

Apparently I don't play trucks to my son's satisfaction and he would prefer to play by himself than with me, much to my husband's amusement and my chagrin!

On Valentine's Day

On the phone with me this morning:

Max:"Hi Mommy"
Me: "Hi Max"
Max: "I have something that I want to tell you"
Me: "Ok, what is it."
Max: "Um, um, um.... I forgot"
Me: "Is it 'Happy Valentine's'
Max: "Day!!! Yes, that's it!!"

On Being an Early Riser

The following occurred at 5:30 am:

Me: "Max, what made you wake up so early?"
Max: "An airplane"
Me: " Max, it's too early even for airplanes"
Max: " Oh...we'll then...something else"
Me: " What?"
Max: "Um.....um.....um...." (this went on for some time with no real satisfactory answer. He did, however, truthfully tell his father that he had woken up too early and would wake up later the next day, which he did, by half an hour, but I'll take whatever extra minutes I can get!)

My Favorite Max Sayings

Max: "Brooklyn and I are going to be best friends forever!"

Max (after sneezing several times): "What is going on with me tonight??"

Max (after I said "nap" instead of "bath"): "Mommy, what is going on with you today?"

* I realize I have already posted almost this exact one liner above, but I cannot adequately express how hilarious it is to have a 3 foot tall munchkin immediate a full grown adult, by affecting tone and stance to boot!

On his Little Sister Being Sick

Max: "Brooklyn is sick Mommy. I checked her temperature, and her tummy. Brooklyn was so sad at daycare"
Me: "I know Max, she has a fever. She needs medecine; we'll pick some up on the way home. We don't need to pick Daddy up any more as Grand Papa is near by and will pick him up for us"
Max: "Grand Papa can't pick Daddy up Mommy"
Me: "Why?"
Max: "Because he'll be stuck in all of that traffic!"
(A note to the city of Montreal: I don't think I knew what traffic was until I was in my early twenties- Max not only knows the word, but he knows exactly what it is, how it's caused and to complain about it!)

On Getting Ready

Me: "Max, please go to the bathroom before I put your snow pants on and get you all ready for skiing"
Max: "No"
Me: "Well then what's going to happen if you have to pee in the car during the ride to the mountain? You're going to pee in your pants?"
Max: "That does not sound like a good idea"

On Being Thankful

Max: "Mommy you are such a nice girl for giving me all of the things that I need"
Me (as I hand him his diggers and dump trucks, the "things" to which he is referring):"Aww you're welcome Max, it's my pleasure"

On Being Logical

The following is a conversation between Max and his grandfather, after his grandfather had fallen on the ice and broken his hand:

Grandpapa: "You know Max, I won't be able to ski with you on Sunday at your ski lesson due to my broken hand"
Max: "Yes you can, skiing is with your legs, not your hand"
Grandpapa: "...."

On Acting Like such a Little Man Already

(On our way to daycare)

Max: "Mommy, are you going straight?"
Me: "No, Max, Julia's is to the left. I am turning left"
Max: "No, straight"
Me: "No, left"
Max: "No, straight"
Me: "Are you going to be a back-seat driver, just like daddy?"
Max: "Yes"

On Staying Fit

Max (in the car after daycare pick-up): "Mommy, did you go to the gym today."
Me: "Yes Max I did"
Max:"Why?"
Me: "To help my foot get all better"
Max: "Daddy hurt himself too."
Me: "Yes, Daddy hurt his shoulder pulling down gyprock"
Max: "Little gyprock or big gyprock."
Me: "There are different sizes of gyprock?"
Max: "Yes"
Me: "I didn't know that Max, you just taught me something! Who taught you that? Daddy?"
Max: "No, grand papa did"

On his Sister's First day at Daycare

Me (in the car, driving the two of them to daycare): "Today is Brooklyn's first day of daycare Max, it's a big day for her"
Max: "And I will be à côté her the entire time"
Me:"Oh thank you Max, it means so much to me to know that you will be with her, helping to take care of her"
Max (once we were inside the daycare): "Ok, bye Brooklyn!"
Me: "haha very funny, Max, you know she's staying with you today"
Max: "No, I don't like Brooklyn anymore" (clearly realizing there was about to be some territory issues)
Me: "Max, it's ok, you can go play with your friends and Brooklyn will stay with Julia"
Max: "No!!! Brooklyn stays with me!" (and so the day went very well, with both kids having a very good day at daycare)

On Relaxing

As I was taking my bath yesterday morning (for the record, I am not one of those mother's who has time for a leisurely bath, it's just that our shower head is broken and the replacement piece hasn't arrived yet)

Me- lying back in the bath as it is running and closing my eyes for a second
Max (running into the bathroom, grabbing his toy cups and starting to fill them up and dump water out of them and around me): "Mommy, are you relaxing?"
Me (thinking "yes, and this isn't helping"): "Yes, Max, I am"
Max: "That sounds like a good idea Mommy. I'm just going to play in that bath water"
Me: "Fine Max, just don't get any on the floor, keep it all in the bath"
Max: 'Ok Mommy"
(This then went on for the entire duration of my bath, with my trying to bathe in between Max filling cups of water and dumping them in whatever helter-skelter manner he saw fit)
Max (at the end of my bath as I was pulling the plug): "Thank you Mommy, I had a great time playing with you!"
Me (powerless to resist his sweet innocence): "Me too Max. Thank you for making my bath fun"

Mommyisms

Max: "Oy oy oy oy oy, what is going on tonight??" (said with exactly my intonation)
Me: "And who would you get that from Max?"
Max: "From you!"

(Realizing how funny my husband and I find such immitation, the next thing out of his mouth):

Max: "Oh. my. god."

On Being Busy

Max (upon my entering daycare and seeing Max on a play cell phone): "No! I can't leave now mommy! I'm on the phone!"

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Me: "Max, can you please give Brooklyn a toy to play with?"
Max (surrounded by his construction toy trucks and diggers): "I can't right now, I'm busy working"

OR

Max: "I have to go to the bathroom and then get right back to work!"
Max (after having gone to the bathroom): "Mommy, why do I go right back to work?"
Me: "Because you are a good worker Max!"

On the daily routine

Max: "Mommy, did Brooklyn have a good day today?"
Me: "Yes Max, she did"
Max: "Me too, at Julia's"
Me: "What did you do today at Julia's?"
Max: "Played with rocks"

On Dreaming

Me: "Max, did you have any dreams last night?"
Max: "yes!"
Me: "What did you dream about?"
Max: "Mickey Mouse!"
Me: "What was Mickey Mouse doing in your dream?"
Max: "Sleeping"

On Teething (and other big brother stuff)

Max: "Mommy! Brooklyn's cheeks are red! You have to give her my rubber truck to chew on!"
Me: "Because she's teething Max?"
Max: "Yes, because she's teething"

Max (hugging Brooklyn): "Oh Brooklyn, my sweety pie"
Me: "Yes, Brooklyn is my little love"
Max: "But I'm your love!"
Me: "We're all loves"
Max: "Yes, all loves"

On Being Reunited

I haven't seen Max in one week as I have been away visiting a friend in Los Angeles. Upon our reunion:

Max: "Mommy, I haven't seen you in soooo long!!! Two days!!"

Max (spontaneously while playing): "Mommy, how was California?"
Me: "California was wonderful Max, thank you for asking"
Max: "Did Brooklyn like California, or was she scared?"
Me: "No, Brooklyn loved California sweetheart"

On Being a Little Adult

(Conversation between Max and I, while I am in LA and he is at home)

Max: "Mommy, how was the plane ride?"
Me: "It was great Max. I miss you"
Max: "When are you coming home? It's taking so long"
Me: "I'll be home in 4 more do-dos"
Max: "Ok Mommy- I love Brooklyn and I love you too"

On Navigating

This is an oldie but a goodie (I am currently traveling and so have no "live" conversations with my son to post)

Max: "Mommy, why did you turn here?"
Me: "Because this is the way we go to get from your school to Daddy's work"
Max: "No it's not"

On Older Brother Stuff

Max: "Brooklyn you are leaving on vacation tomorrow. You are one lucky girl!"
Brooklyn: "Goou gou gaga" (big smile)

Mister Know-it-all

Max (in the car): "Oh no, it's raining out!"
Me: "No Max, it's actually just the car in front of Mommy getting Mommy's windshield wet"
Max: "Why?"
Me: "Because his tires are wet and they are spraying Mommy's car"
Max: "Because that's just the way it is"
Me: "Who taught you that Max??"
Max: "Noone!"
Me: "You thought of that all by yourself honey?"
Max: "Yes. And I'm not honey"
Me: "Oh, then who are you?"
Max: "I'm Max!"

Just Funny One-Liners

Max says hilarious things in pretty much every second sentence that comes out of his mouth. For this reason, I will also keep a running post of just such one-liners. Here was this morning's:

Max (As I poured the hot water over his oatmeal cereal): "Bye-bye cereal! Have a nice day in my tummy!"
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On January 13th, 2013

Max (yawming after his bath): "I had a busy day Daddy, I'm tired"

On Family Ties

Max: "Mommy!"
Me: "Yes Max?"
Max: "Are you Mommy Alyssa Bleser?"
Me: "Yes, I'm Alyssa Bleser"
Max: "Is Daddy, daddy Patrick Moreau?"
Me: "Yes"
Max: "And I'm Max?"
Me: "Yes"

On Having the Stomach Flu

Me: "Max, you cannot touch your baby sister today, it's very important that she not catch the flu as well"
Max: "But I want to kiss her and hug her because I love her so much"
Me: "I know sweetheart, but you'll just have to blow her kisses today and hopefully by tomorrow, you'll be able to kiss and hug her again"
Max: "When I stop blargh!! (insert sound here of Max imitating himself throwing up)
Me: "Yes Max, when you stop throwing up"

On his First Day Skiing

On the highway up north to the hill, we suddenly had to slow way down:

Max: "Why did we just stop Mommy? Is it because of an accident?"
Me: "That's what I'm thinking as well Max, but we'll have to wait and see"
(several minutes later, we do indeed see many police cars and a tow truck off to the side)
Me: "Look Max, it was an accident that caused us to slow down and be in traffic"
Max: "So then I was right!"
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A little further down the road, as we start to approach mountains:

Max: "Is that the mountain that I will be skiing on?"
Me: "No Max, it's not the one, I'll point it out as soon as I see the one you will be skiing on"
Max: "Yeah because that mountain is too big, it's for big boys only"
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Once we got to the ski hill I decided we would wait in the car for a little while so that my baby daughter could finish her nap and Max could have his snack:

Max: "I want to sit in front Mommy"
Me: "Ok fine, come sit on the passenger side"
Max (after a couple of minutes of that): "I want to sit on your lap on the driver's side"
Me: "Ok fine, come sit on my lap"
Max (once he was on my lap): "Ok, let's drive Mommy"
Me: "Max I can't drive with you sitting on me!"
Max: "Yes, I'm a good driver!"
Me: "No, Max, we really cannot"
Max: "Why? Because there are police around?"
Me: "Yes, that's why, I could get in a lot of trouble if I let you drive- you're only 3!"

On the Weather

Pat: "Look Max, it's starting to rain" (as the two of them are outside shovelling together)
Max: "Is it raining snow?"
Pat: "No, Max, it's raining rain- water- as it is not cold enough to turn it into snow"
Max: "Oh well that's ok, I'm wearing my jacket"

On Etiquette

This actually happened this evening, at diner, while I was alone with the kids as my husband was working late:

Max: "Mommy, I would like some more ketchup please"
Me (feeding 6 month old daughter a bottle with one hand and trying to feed myself with the other): "Ok Max, just give me a minute to finish feeding Brooklyn and then I'll get you the ketchup"
Max (after waiting maybe 10 seconds): "Garcon! Garcon! I need more ketchup please!"
Me (laughing): "Max, where did you learn that?"
Max (no response, but knowing he'd said something very funny)

The Unrelenting Questioner

My son asks easily 100 questions a day, and those are just the ones I hear. Who knows how many he may ask of the daycare educator, my husband, in-laws, etc...? For the time being I am mostly capable of answering his questions, but he's only 3, so I realize this will not last forever. Today was a good example of that:

Me: "We have to dress you really warmly Max as it is very cold outside"
Max: "But why is it sunny?"
Me: "Because it is often sunny when it is very cold outside"
Max: "But why?"
Me: "I honestly don't know why that is Max"
Max: "You don't know?" (said with some amount of sadness and/or awe that there was something his mother did not know)

On his Amazing Imagination

Every night before bath time, my husband and son play "tent" in our bed

Max: "Oh I hear the doorbell!"
Pat: "Is it Grouchy?" (Our son's imaginary friend who makes nightly visits to the tent)
Max: "No, it's the mailman"
Pat: "Oh, we have mail?"
Max: "Yes, one letter for you and one letter for me"
Pat: "Who are they from?"
Max: "Daddy! From the mailman!" (said in a "duh!" sort of voice)