Modern Day Problems

I was making Max a peanut butter sandwich to bring to a friend's house for a play date. He asked me if his friend might be allergic to peanuts. The following is the conversation they had:

Max: "Henrik, are you allergic to peanuts?"

Henrik: "No, I'm not"

Max: "That's really good"

Henrik: "I know"

On cocktail etiquette

Max, on asking me questions about a work cocktail I was at

Max: "Mommy, tell me what goes on at your work parties"

Me: "I walk up to people and say hi, I'm Alyssa, what is your name?"

Max: "And if they know you, they come closer?"

Me: "Yes."

Max: "And what else Mommy?"

Me: "And there is music playing, and food and I had a glass of wine. That's all"

Max: "It was a short party tonight"

On 21st Children

Brooklyn (holding her vtec Genius Fun): "Mommy, don't touch my laptop, agreed?"

Siblings

The kids ended up in bed with me early this morning as we all slept in one room at my dad's.

Brooklyn (groping around in the dark): "Where's Max?"

Max: "I'm right here Brooklyn. Don't worry, I'll always be with you, except when I'm at school, but that's just because you're too little right now"

On Brooklyn

Max still says a lot of cute things, but with Brooklyn turning 2 and getting more into speaking in full sentences, she's earning her place on the blog now as well! Here are a few funny things she had said this weekend:

Me: "Brooklyn, what flavour of ice cream would you like?"

Brooklyn: "Blue!"

While I was putting her down for her nap:

Brooklyn: "Big owl please!

Me (handing her the big stuffed owl)

Brooklyn: "where are his hands?" So she could play patty-cake with him!

Brooklyn (with set of play keys in hand): "I want to drive the car!"

On Geography

The very cool thing about having had a winter Olympics and FIFA World Cup all in the same year is that Max has really gained an understanding/concept of the world and the countries around the globe.

Brooklyn: "Avion! Avion!"
Me: "Yes, look an airplane that is heading to the airport"
Max: "No, that airplane isn't landing"
Me" Oh no? Then where do you think it is heading?"
Max: "Maybe Orlando, or Ghana, or Argentina"
Me: "Or Brasil, for the world cup final?"
Max: "Yes! Maybe Brasil!"

Not to mention the number of times he has correctly identified country flags...that even I could not identify!!

On Being Money Wise

While grocery shopping last week, I decided to look at buying sealed containers for cereal.

Me: "What! This container is $18?!"

Max: "What!?"

Me: "And this one is $20??? Are these people crazy?"

Max (funny, frantic): "Mommy! Don't buy it!"

Almost 5 year old phone conversation

Max called his school friend Justin tonight and I, of course, put the phone on speaker to hear the cuteness:

Max: "Can I come to your house Justin?"

Justin: "Yes!"

Max: "What's your address?"

Justin: "Let me show you"

Max: "But I can't see"

Justin (mother whispering to him in background): "1740 Marchand Street"

Max: "Is your house far?"

Justin: "No"

Max: "Can I bring my little sister?"

Justin: "Yes"

Max: "And my Daddy and my mother?"

Justin: "Yes"

Justin: "Our teacher Dave is big"

Max: "Yes"

This went on for a good 10 minutes before I asked to speak to Justin's mommy so we could actually plan a play date for the boys; so cute!!

On Co-Sleeping

Brooklyn, usually the easiest child to put to bed, couldn't sleep tonight. She ended up in Max's bed as I was reading his story, which he was ecstatic about.

Max: "Brooklyn, do you want me to choose a book?"

Brooklyn: "Ya- book!"

Max: "Ok, how about this one?" Holding up a book on heavy equipment, one of Brooklyn's favourite things in the world

Brooklyn: "Ya!"

Max (rummaging through his Disney bin): "Brooklyn, do you want a character?" 

Brooklyn: Vigorous head shake "no" 

Brooklyn (holding out her arm): "Bobo bobo"

Max: "You want me to kiss it to make it feel better?"

Brooklyn: Nodding vigorously "yes"  

Max: "I want Brooklyn to sleep with me all night!"

Such a sweet older brother

Go Habs Go

Max has morphed into a die-hard Habs fan- no surprise given Pat's allegiance to the team! As I said to Pat recently, "Tree, meet apple". This is how every morning proceeding a game has been in our house, since the playoffs:

Max (coming to the edge of the stairs and saying to me): "Mommy, did the Habs win last night?"
Me (most mornings): "I don't know Max, we'll have to watch the highlights to find out"
Max: "I hope Carey Price got a shut-out!"
Me: "I don't know about that Max; the other team already had __ points by the time I went to bed"
Max: "I have to go talk to Daddy about this!"

On Being a Gentleman

Max and Brooklyn were playing together in the living room, when I heard Brooklyn cry out. I ran into the living room and saw them both lying on the couch.

Me: "Max, did something happen?"

Max: "No"

Me: "Why did Brooklyn cry?"

Max: "I don't know. I was just lying down on the couch next to her like a perfect gentleman"

Where does he come up with this stuff???

Kids see no color

Max is a huge hockey fan and really into the Canadians right now. We don't let him watch full matches but we do let him watch the sports highlights the next morning so that he can see the most important parts of the match. This morning, he saw an interview with PK Subban.

Max: "He has black on him"
Me: "Max, he is black"
Max: "Why isn't he white?"
Me: "Not everyone is white, sweetheart. Some people are black, some people are brown, some people are white with different features. We are all different."
Max (said in such a sweet, innocent, happy voice): "But we all have the same heart!"
Me (melting): "Yes, yes we do"

Really, mommy...really

Max's exact words to me: "Franchement Maman, Franchement" (said with the exact right intonation and level of exacerbation)

He also spelled out his first word on Sunday: "S.A.Q." (Solid parenting, I know)

Deep conversations

Max: "Mommy, one day we might leave this house and never come back"

Me: "What do you mean Max?"

Max: "That's what Dwayne's daddy did. He left and went to another house because his mommy and his daddy were fighting all of the time"

Me: "Does he visit his daddy sometimes at his new house?"

Max: "No. Never. He just calls him sometimes"

Me: "So it's just Dwayne and his mommy?"

Max: "He might have a brother or a sister. Maybe yes or maybe no."

Best Question Ever

Max: "Mommy, are we human?" (Referring to he and Brooklyn, as they play around on the bed before bath)

Me: "Yes Max, you are little humans"

Brooklyn babble

I knew that eventually, as Brooklyn grew and so did her vocabulary, that she would slowly start making appearances on the blog. At almost 2, she is predominantly French speaking and loves to yell out the words she knows. A car ride with Brooklyn sounds like this:

Brooklyn (looking out the window): "CAMION!! CAMION!! car... car... CAMION! OISEAUX!! Car...car... De l'eau OISEAUX!!

On Marriage

Max: "Mommy, did we get married?"

Me: "Did who get married?"

Max: "You and me and Daddy"

Me: "Daddy and I got married Max, 5 years ago, in Puerto Rico"

Max: "No, but when we moved houses, we got married then?"

Me: "No sweetheart"

Max: "How do you get married?"

Me: "Two people stand in front of one person, who says a lot of nice things, and all of your friends and family are there"

Max: "Yes, ok, we definitely got married when we moved houses"

Get. With. The. Program

Max: "Mommy, the hockey net is broken"

Me: "Ok, let me see if I can fix it"

Max: "Fix it please!"

Me: "I'm trying Max"

Max (laughing): "Try harder!"

On Sanity

Pat has been working every second weekend, both Saturday and Sunday, since the Fall. It's starting to wear on me, this "single-parenthood" thing every other weekend. I'm not exactly a stay-at-home during the week (meaning I don't have the toughest job in the world, but I do have a pretty demanding one)

By 9:00 this morning, having been up since 6:15, with Pat out of the house at 6:45, the kids were kind of well...:

Me: "Oh my god, I am going to lose my mind"

Max (very dramatically): "No! Mommy! Don't lose your mind!"

Max (5 seconds later): "What's losing your mind?"

On Doctors

The other night out of the blue, Max asked me the following question:

Max: "Mommy, why do doctors know everything?"

Me (for some reason at a loss for words): "What? Why do you ask?"

Max: "It's ok, I know the answer. It's because they go to school for a really long time"  

Smart Questions

I have been very sick with a throat infection for the past few days. Max and Brooklyn have been staying with my in-laws, to avoid there getting sick and to give me a chance to rest.

Max, on the phone with me today:

Max: "Mommy, when you had no voice, were you still able to breathe?"

Me: "Yes Max, I could always breathe"

Max: "And you've taken your medicine and you feel better now?"

Me: "Yes honey, I am starting to feel better"

On Being Politically Savvy

I will have to post pictures below to demonstrate how accurate Max's childish realism was with this comment.

While having breakfast out with Grandpapa Andre this morning at Old McDonald (his term for McDonalds), he saw a newspaper article with a picture of the 4 party leaders in last night's campaign debate. This was his observation:

Max: pointing to Philipe Couillard of the Liberal party "that's Granpa Jerry" pointing to Pauline Marois, Parti Quebecois, "that's Grandma Bubs" and pointing to Francoise David, Quebec Solidaire, "that's Grandmaman Francine!"

On Homework

This is not so much a conversation with Max, as a description of a scene from earlier this evening.

Max has homework to do every night for pre-school; practicing to write out letters of the alphabet. Tonight he asked if he could practice while listening to Rhianna's "Diamonds", which was followed by Mumford & Sons "I will wait" and last by Eminem and Rhianna's "Monsters under the bed" (that last one I am not so proud of as a parent- I'm not entirely sure who is to blame for our son's love of Eminem, but I'm pretty sure it's completely inappropriate for a 4-year old and some pretty lax parenting that we haven't put an end to it!)

All Alone

Pat and I actually get a weekend to ourselves; Max called tonight:

Max: "Daddy, have fun at the hotel!"

Pat: "We're still at home tonight, going to the hotel tomorrow"

Max: "Your home all alone?"

Pat: "Yes Max, we're home all alone, but we're thinking of you and Brooklyn all of the time"

New House

Our current house, that we've lived in for 1.5 years, was built in 1968 and the floors in the living room are very warped, and getting worse. Pat was pointing out how bad they've gotten tonight.

Max: "Oh look at the floors- the house is old! We'll need to move into a new house soon. I think at my birthday- that's a good time to move into a new house"

Phone Etiquette

Me: "Max, I'm going upstairs to put Brooklyn to bed. If Daddy calls, press the green button on the phone"

Max (phone rings, Max picks up): "Hello? Daddy? I was watching the Canadians against the Bruins and the Canadians scored!" ( puts the phone down)

Me: "Pat?"

Pat: "Can I talk to little man again?"

Me: "Max, Daddy wants to speak to you again"

Max (taking the phone): "What?"

Pat: (says whatever)

Max: "Ok bye"

Me: "Max, Daddy wants to talk to you again"

Max: "What?"

Walking home with a 4-yr old

Max (walking backwards): "Mommy tell me when the sidewalk turns please"

Me: "Ok Max"

Max: "Because when kids walk backwards without mother's they can walk off the sidewalk and get hit by a car"

Me: "Max, that's terrible! Don't say things like that-let's talk, instead, about what sport you'd like to play in the Spring"

Max: "Hockey, baseball and tennis!"

Me: "What about soccer?"

Max: "Oh yeah- soccer too!"

Questions for which I have no answers

Max: "Why is Z the last letter of the alphabet?"

Oh the Wisdom

Brooklyn (crying)

Me: "Max, why is Brooklyn crying? Did you do something?"

Max: "I didn't do anything! She's crying because she's tired"

Max (holding stuffed turtle): "Look at the turtle, he has such a hard shell"

Me: "Bring him to bed with you"

Max: "No, I'm going to bring him downstairs so that he can protect the house, if someone were to break in, with his hard shell!"

On Driving

Max went to Park Omega today with his grandparents to see all of the animals roaming around. On the phone with Pat and I this evening:

Max: "I drove the Jeep today!"

Pat: "Really Max? That's cool"

Max: "Yes- Grandpapa had to help me turn, but as long as we were driving straight, I was a really good driver!" 

Olympic Replay

Max (reenacting the men's snowboard cross): "And then, Norway came in from the side and cut France off and then he slid and fell on his elbow and that was ouch!!"

Me: "Wow Max, great play-by-play"

Max: "And then, France congratulated Norway; that's good sportsmanship"

Me: "That's very important Max"

Max: "I know Mommy- we have to shake the other team's hand"

Valentine's Day

Max was in a mood this morning and not exactly being his usual charming self. I thought a do-over of the morning was in order.

Me: "Max, today is Valentine's Day. Why don't we start this morning over by giving each other big hugs and kisses to show each other how much we love each other?"
Max: "NO!!!"
Me: "That's not very nice"
Max: "Mommy, it's because you stink!" (I hadn't yet brushed my teeth and leave it to your 4 year-old to be brutally honest!)

On Men's Double Luge

All I have to say about this is that it made Max giggle! It was hilarious to see him laughing every time a team started its run. It prompted Max and Pat to pretend they were a Luge team, from the comforts of our sofa. Very cute!

On Skiing in the Olympics

While watching the women's slope style skiing with me tonight, he made the following comment as he watched them fly through the air and do tricks:

Max: "Oh, that is way too dangerous for me! I'm going to keep my skis on the ground and not fall like that lady!"

Below, our little future Olympian (my brother even pointed out that the picture says Go Maxim in the background!)

On the Opening Ceremony of the Olympics

Max: "I want a house that glows too!"

OMG

Max is very tall and lean and can still fit in some of the things that we have around the house for Brooklyn. Tonight, he sat in Brooklyn's high chair to eat super. 

Me: "Max this is funny, you sitting in Brooklyn's chair"

Max: "And Brooklyn is crawling on the table (which she was); we are such a disaster tonight!"

What? I'm Serious

As happens approx 50% of the time, Pat fell asleep with Max after reading him his book tonight. I heard Max coming down the stairs some time after he should have been asleep.

Me: "Max, what are you doing?"

Max: "I'm hungry"

Me: "Well where is Daddy?"

Max: "Upstairs sleeping"

Me: "You left him asleep upstairs and came down to get a snack?"

Max: "Yes, why not? He knows how to sleep all by himself"

Me (disbelief): "Max!"

Max: "What? I'm serious Mommy..." 

On Behaviour

Me: "Max! Please listen to me! Why do I have to ask you to do the same thing 5 times before you actually pay attention?"

Max: "Well, because, Mommy, I'm trying my best, I really am, but sometimes I can't help it and I have bad behaviour"

Me: "Please try to listen for the rest of this evening Max; Mommy gets frustrated repeating so much"

Max: "Ok Mommy, no more bad behaviour tonight"

On Language

Me: "Max, we went to visit two schools for you this morning for next year"
Max: "Oh really?"
Me: "Yes. One is English and one is French. Do you know if you would prefer to go to school in English or French next year?"
Max (after taking a good minute to think about it): "I would like to go to English school"
Me: "Oh really? English? Ok honey, thank you for telling me"
Max: "English is what we are speaking now, right?"
Me: "Yes Max, we are speaking English right now"

On Being a Chocoholic

Max has inherited my love of chocolate, an addiction we both come by naturally as I inherited it from my mother and she from hers, and so on, so forth. A few nights ago, I gave him a chocolate ball for dessert.

Max: "Mommy, what can I have for dessert tonight?"
Me: "One of the chocolates from Julia's?"
Max: "Oh yes, I like those" (helping himself to one and eating it)

A few minutes later, Max wanders into the kitchen, where I am cleaning up:

Max: "Mommy, you know, I was eating that chocolate, I had it in my mouth, and I just kept thinking to myself 'I cannot believe this is mild chocolate'"
Me (laughing): "As opposed to what Max??"
Max: " I don't know Mommy, I was just thinking about that"

On Being Sick

Like so many families, the stomach flu has been making its way around our little family. Max was the first to get it (on New Year's Eve!) followed by Pat and now, last night, me.

Me: "Max, Mommy isn't feeling very well, can you please get out of the bath now?"
Max: " Mommy are you going to throw up? If you throw up, you cannot go to yoga"
Me: 'That's true Max; I probably won't go to my yoga class tonight anyway"
Max: "If you throw up now, it will be all over me!"
Me: "Max, I'll make sure not to throw up all over you, I promise"

Super Maxim

Max and Brooklyn were given an indoor tent and tunnel for Christmas. They really like to play in it in the basement.

Max: "Come on Brooklyn, let's go on an adventure!"

Brooklyn: Grabs essentials, such as bear and blanket

Max (pretending to drive a spaceship): "Ok Brooklyn, come on, we're taking off on our adventure"

On Being Dark

Max (watching the water drain out of his bath): "Mommy, do you know where the water goes?"

Me: "Not really- ask daddy"

Max: "No, I already know! It goes down the drain and into a pipe and then down another drain"

Me: "And then where does it go?"

Max: "These men come and pick the water up in dump trucks in the middle night, but we aren't supposed to see them, because if we do, they'll kill us!"

Me: "Max! No one is going to kill us!"

(This, after he had turned a plastic bird he was playing with upside down on the edge of the bath and declared it was dead. When asked why, he said because it had gone into the water, which, while dark for a 4 year old, is actually quite logical)

Oh the Vocab and Manners

Me: "Max, Daddy has a surprise for you tomorrow"

Max: "Oh, that mischievous Daddy!"

Then later, as we were going downstairs

Max (moving over to let me go by): "After you Mommy"

Proud Big Brother

Max often likes to act like a father figure to Brooklyn; he really enjoys feeling older than her and, I believe, this comes moslty from a place of wanting to take care of her (and a little bit from a place of wanting to boss her around!)

Last night, after their bath, the kids sat down at their Ikea table to have their yogurts. Brooklyn has been feeding herself for a long time now (and will have it no other way) but yogurt, and yogurt containers, pose an obvisouly messy problem at times.

Brooklyn (eating her yogurt "toute seule" like a big girl at the table)
Max (said in proud big brother voice): "Look Mommy, she's doing really well with her yogurt"
Me (laughing): "Yes she is Max; she's using her spoon her really well and not droping any"
Max: "Good girl Brooklyn!"

As a funny aside about second children being so unbelievably independant; Brooklyn takes her bib off as soon as she is done eating and went right to the drawer where I keep her bibs last night and helped herself to a new bib as soon as I said the word "yogurt". She has also taken to opening the drawer where I keep the place mats, takign one out, climbing onto the table bench and helping to set the table! She's one and a half!

I've done something right

Max and Brooklyn have fun sponges for the bath; Brooklyn's is a Mini Mouse and Max's is a Spider-Man. Max was having the two of them play together:

Max: "Mommy they were play fighting together and Spider-Man thought he would win because he's the guy and he's stronger but he was wrong and she won!"

On Creative Excuses

When it came time to clean up tonight:

Max: "I'm too tired Mommy, look, I have scars under my eyes"

Me: "Do you mean circles under your eyes Max?"

Max: "Yes, look Mommy, I'm so tired I have circles under my eyes"

Oh Max

This was one of those moments where I realized that Max obviously listens to my phone conversations.

Me (on the phone to Max): "Good morning Max. How has your morning been?"
Max: "I can't hear you"
Me: 'Max, put the phone up to your ear"
Max: "I did (some movement) ok, I can hear you better now"
Me: "So how has your morning been?"
Max: "Well, I've had my breakfast"
Me: "Good. Are you happy to be going to Grandmaman and Granpapa's?"
Max: "Yes. Did your friend drive you to work this morning?"
Me: "No, I took the metro"
Max: "Oh ok...well...so...I'm going to let you go now Mommy. I love you, bye!"
Me (laughing): "Ok Max, buy love, have a nice day"