On Hospitality

Sophya (my best friend's daughter): "I want to sleep here tonight!"

Max: "But there is only 1 bed for Mommy, 1 bed for Brooklyn and 1 bed for me"

Sophya: "Oh..."

Max: "Sorry Sophya..."

On Race

Pat was telling a story at diner about one of his clients, when Max interrupted with the following:

Max: "Was her face black?"

Pat: "No, it was white"

Max: "Why?"

Me: "Max honey, there are white people, and black people, and people from countries like India who are brown; there are all sorts of different people in the world"

Max: "Is tiger sand in India?"

Me: "Yes Max, there is sand in India"

On Vacationing

Grandma: "Max, where should we go on vacation?"

Max: "Oka beach!"

Grandma: "Really?"

Max: "No! Plattsburgh is a better idea"

On Wine

My father-in-law at the diner table: "Who wants more wine?"

Max: "Not me!"

On Relationships

Max: "I don't love Delphine anymore!"

Me: "Max that's not very nice, Delphine is one of your good friends"

Max: "No, she's not nice! I'm going to throw her in the garbage!"

Me: "Max we do not talk about throwing people in the garbage. That is not nice at all. Would you want Delphine to say that about you?"

Max: "Um...well...no...ok I love her again"

So Wise

We recently renovated our basement and completed a full bathroom. Max loved to shower in our last house and has been waiting for this bathroom to be finished.

Max: "Daddy, can we take a shower tonight?"

Pat: "That sounds like a great idea"

Me: "Just a sec though Max, I think that bathroom still needs to be cleaned"

Max: "Oh don't worry about that Mommy, it's no problem, it will be just fine"

Me (laughing): "Ok Max, if you say so sweetheart"

On Finances

Max: "Mommy am I going to my new school tomorrow?"

Me: "No Max, you start your new school in August and we are only July now"

Max: "But why Mommy?"

Me: "Because I'm only paying for the new school in August"

Max: "That's ok Mommy, I'll pay for July"

On Bridges

Max: "Look Mommy, I built a bridge!"

Me: "Wow Max, what a great bridge! What is it calked? The Maxim Bridge?"

Max: "No Mommy! It's called the Brooklyn Bridge!"

On Being a Wise Guy (already!)

Me: "Max, you aren't showing me very good behaviour"

Max: "Then put me in a timeout"

Me: "Max, I have asked you to listen to me, otherwise there will be a consequence"

Max: "Oh, don't worry about me" (in a sing song voice)

Lessons from a three-year old

Max: "Mommy, who painted your toes?"

Me: "A lady in New York"

Max: "What's her name?"

Me: "I don't know Max, I didn't ask"

Max: "Why not?"

Me: "That's a good question Max and you're right, I should always ask people their names"